Popular Nollywood Actress, Shaffy Bello, in a recent sit-down with media personality, Chude Jideonwo on his show #WithChude, has opened up on how she had to sacrifice her marriage and kids in a bid to attain success in Nollywood.
According to Shaffy, the 51-year-old mother of two, she left her husband and then-teenage kids in the USA, as she relocated down to Nigeria in search of greener pastures in Nollywood.
“I came back to Nigeria to spread my wings, I felt like I was pregnant and couldn’t have a child…like my wings were sort of closed in, like I was boxed in. I needed more, my soul needed more, I was yearning for more. I didn’t know the price that will come with it but I had to make the sacrifice,” she said
“I paid the price of not having a connection with my children then. My daughter was 13, my son was 11… I was a hands-on mother before I left them. At a point, I even quit my job to raise my kids. I sacrificed a lot for them to be nurtured…only to now leave them in their early teenage years with their father…and then again, their dad is out there making a living and I am here in Nigeria making a living, so they missed the joint parental touch but that is about that.”
The actress then opened up on her divorce which only happened five years ago when she was 45-years-old stating that she left her husband because he allowed her to. She also lamented how difficult it was to maintain a long-distance relationship.
“I left my husband because he allowed me, we divorced 5 years ago when I was 45 and that was a huge sacrifice. He is a good man and father to the children. The distance affected us, the long-distance relationship was difficult…but I knew I wanted this. If I go back, it will be too much of a sacrifice, I wouldn’t be myself and at some point, I will resent him so I had to focus on what I wanted,” She added.
Shaffy also opened up on what the aftermath of leaving her kids felt like; revealing that she was especially hard on herself.
“I judged myself…but I thank God he did it for me this way because it is better for me. I built my marriage, we had kids, I nurtured them and then I progressed for my career. I suffered the judgement for so long of choosing career over family but I didn’t tell anyone,” she said.
“You see, I don’t care much what people say about me, but I care more about my children and close-knit family. When it happened, I didn’t have to explain much to my family, my pastor. They saw me, they saw the light in my eyes…and agreed.”
The actress also opened up on her current relationship with her kids stating that she is now an inspiration to her daughter.
“My children come here often on vacation. One day my daughter said to me, I am glad you made the decision you made, it has taught me as a woman to be a goal-getter and go for what you want…I was happy when she said that” she quipped.
Speaking on advice for young women in their 20s and 30s, she urged them to strike a balance between all facets of their lives such that they don’t abandon their dreams in the long run.
“As a woman, there is time for everything….marriage, children….and there is more to being a mum and wife. If your children are still young especially when they are babies, you need to nurture them, give them a good foundation because they didn’t ask to come to the world but you brought them…..so give them that nurturing and then face career and self after they are groomed. Some have it all but don’t you dare forget your dreams and yourself in process.”
As for Shaffy, marriage is still in the cards, and even more so now that there are “no babies to nurture”.
“…I am a one Man woman….I love marriage…..and marriage at this age for me is gonna be sweet, no babies to nurture…just enjoyment, take me travelling, vacation, and if you are gonna marry, you have to double up…and if it doesn’t happen, Shaffy is alright,” she added.
Shaffy Bello rose to prominence after providing vocals and appearing in the music video for Seyi Sodimu’s 1997 hit record, “Love Me Jeje”.
The actress, who is the last child of five girls, completed her primary and secondary education in Nigeria before relocating to the USA for her tertiary education.
Shaffy Bello is widely lauded as a s£x symbol in Nollywood by quite a lot of fans, and this is evidenced by the comments that roll in whenever she shares new photos on any of her social media platforms.